the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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