i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Randomize
