you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
