Your face is a jimmy john
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize