I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
