i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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