its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
