Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
