She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
