grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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