Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
