Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
