And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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