The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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