Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize