Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
