Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
