after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
