you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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