Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
