no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
This girl is more easily done than said...
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
