yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
