You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
