How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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