You made me cry and you don't even care
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
