U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize