how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
My penis needs a shock collar
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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