Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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