Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
