drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
My vagina just recognized that song.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
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