The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
