i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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