That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
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