let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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