stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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