We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
God I need to hump something, right now.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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