Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I'm eating all of the evidence.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
