I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
