Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
