I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
