it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
