Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
