its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
