i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
