I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
