Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
