Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize