"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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