i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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