you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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