whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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