im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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