I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
So vagazzling was a success
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
