He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
We left an ass print on the piano.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
