Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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