my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
