The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
She bit a glass in half.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
