What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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