He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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