clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Randomize
