I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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